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coloful

June 2009

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coloful

Don't mind my whining, I need to vent

I'm FRUSTRATED! Apparently more than I realized since I currently have insomnia and am crying. Great...right before a test too. I'm tired of being in pain. I sprained my ankle two and a half weeks ago, and had to walk weird to avoid pain. I got sick a week later, where I had to miss school. I had a fever and a cough. The cough is gone now, but I've had a sore throat for about 9 days...always moving, now in my mouth. I think my wisdom tooth is coming in and hurting me...and of course I don't know where my insurance covers to get them removed because my Mom still hasn't answered the question the Dentist brought up. I'll probably have to step around her and call the office in MN and then insurance people. But my throat still hurts, and I feel ok other than that. (besides the fact that I've take ibu n half of the nights of the week and a half, just so I can sleep through the night). Perhaps it's time to visit a doc (for the 3rd time in 3 weeks), but I'm pretty sure they're going to give me a strep test then send me home with the direction to gargle with saline and take ibuprophen...15 bucks down the drain. I'm frustrated because I keep missing school. I missed my first class of the semester for a doc appt, and missed it again and another from being sick the next week. I'll have to miss more if I have something wrong with me and/ or have to get my wisdom teeth removed...after all, there are rarely any breaks for a college student.

I'm frustrated because I don't have a job, and I feel like I have to settle hard core to get anything. It doesn't help that I haven't been able to get out much because of my health...so I might have to ask Dean for financial help. I keep getting bills (which I anticipated) but I also hoped for a job by now and no medical bills/issues.

I'm frustrated be cause I have an abstract goal to get closer to God again, but am having trouble spending quality time with him. It seems that I'm refreshed at Christian gatherings but nothing happens in my personal time (not that I have much by myself, or that I dedicate it to prayer and such)

This was supposed to be an easy year where I found a more stable job and finished my degree. Now the most stable thing in my life is the fact that I'm getting married in the spring and that I have regular bills coming to me. All else and everyone else is always different. I'm also posting this to get over my desire of pity...I've been complaining to a few around me wanting a little sympathy, just to be shot down as if to say "get over it Krystal, we have things going on too"...true that's not what they were really saying, but it's what I feel I need to hear none the less. In short "get over yourself", which I gladly would if I weren't in some form of pain for the last 3 weeks.

Comments

(Anonymous)

praying

Hey Krystal.
Just randomly came across this post in a search I did on google, but I wanted to let you know I understand where you are and experiencing frustrations in life!
I was most interested in your "abstract goal to get closer to God" Just wanted to encourage you to keep seeking Him, because He is real hope and life.
Just wanted to let you know that some random stranger would be praying for you and your frustrations the next few days!
eric
ebarb_4god@yahoo.com

Re: praying

Ha, I forgot these can be found on google searches. It's encouraging to get connected to random people and have prayer for one another. Thanks.

Things are better now. I just needed to get it out, and my fiancee sat me down and talked to me yesterday to make sure I'm ok...plus he's going to hold me accountable with connecting with God.